In which we discuss not giving up...

So it's been quite some time since I've posted anything. There are various reasons behind that. The shorter version is that it is no secret that I once had big dreams of being an "industry professional". For a while I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and I thought I had a pretty good idea of how to get there. I also was fortunate to have a really good start, working with people that I considered super heroes.

Then whether we want to blame the economy, complacency at my current job, trouble in the industry, my own self-defeating underachieving, I hit a road block that I still haven't quite recovered from. That road block was sending out resumes and either never hearing back or getting a prompt, form letter "thanks but no thanks, come back when you've done something big". The last straw was when I applied for a position that I thought I could do, in fact KNEW I could do. It seemed like the clouds had parted and things were looking really good. I had a contact at the place I was going to (who had asked me to apply), I had met someone else that reviewed the work I was sending and happened to have other contacts, and the position that I wasn't sure I could be considered for even opened up a junior version that seemed totally attainable at my current "experience level". Everything was going so great.

Then I got a short email, directly from someone in human resources that basically only said, "We don't have any openings for your current skill level".

I was deflated to say the least. For a long while I couldn't even bring myself to doodle. I told some of the people who I admired and who encouraged me most that maybe I just wasn't good enough and maybe I should just quit trying, especially when it seemed like I had so much help in my attempt to get this last job.


A few months ago I rolled over and asked myself what I was doing. It's a funny thing, waking up. I felt like I had been fighting a car engine to start and all of the sudden it came on again and I told myself... if you have to show them what you can do, do it. It sounds stupid, because I knew that was what I had to do, but I had just gotten so bogged down in thinking I wasn't good enough that I wasn't trying anymore. I'm not sure I have the words to describe the amount of kicking yourself that starts to happen when you begin doing what you know you should have been doing for years.

Once I mustered up a little determination, I contacted some people I know who are in the same shaky boat as me. Big dreams, little job experience, and it's taking some time to properly get started but I've basically begun the foray into making my own content. Who knows what will come of this, but I've got a solid idea and I've been doing some legwork. I'm asking questions and telling myself to not feel stupid, inept, or bad, because I'm just starting out. I'm only just realizing that I'm making myself manager, writer, art-director... and have very little idea what I'm doing. So far I feel like I've got the ground work in place and there's nothing left to do but do it and hope for the best.

Not that I have a whole bunch of followers but here's to hoping this goes well and I will be posting a link to a kickstarter or something of that nature in the coming months. Also more drawings, though I've had to take down the ones related to my project. Hopefully I can post something about it soon. I'm excited.

week 2 of creature class

Taking some thumbnails from the 1st assignment and varying on them.

learnin

So I'm taking a creature concept class . Super excited about what I might learn, I really admire the teacher, Nate Hallinan . Here are some thumbnails from the first assignment.

I'm an odd kid

Saw steam rising off my hands after washing them, and hit that image with the force of my imagination.

Radio Silence

So there may be a bit of an art hiatus for me here. Recently I came home from PAX East and after being there decided I was tired of not doing what I want just because right now I can't manage to get a job. 

I'm starting a project, but it will take some time before it's ready for anything big. It could be really good. 

More to come

Continuing

Did a little more work on the painting exercise,

More later

Color Study

A color study, based on a sculpture and a photo from instagram that really spoke to me.

She is really rough right now, but she's off to a good start before I head to work.

Working today on something that I'm not so great at. Mechs, war machines, tanks whatever you want to call them. As much as I love a good gundam, my brain just doesn't seem to enjoy making them. I'm trying to add to my skills, so what I don't enjoy or feel uncomfortable with seems like a good start. Bottom right seems the most promising so far. more later.

In which we return to our own bed...

So, for the first time ever, I visited PAX East. 

It was one of those places that makes you feel home, surrounded by people who are just like you. I was privileged to meet many talented people, and ask questions, play games and take home some neat free stuff (though I also spent a considerable amount of money...)

Found new love for some old things near to my heart watching a Zelda speed run, accompanied by Bit Brigade playing awesome renditions of some of my favorite game music. 

Also attended some panels, both educational, and amusing. Reminding me, and everyone, most of all, that we are awesome, and there really isn't anything stopping us from being such. 

We'll see about next year. For now, it's great to be in my own bed...

Brain Break

So I decided to take a short break from my current project to give my brain a rest. I ended up revisiting one of my robots that I just could never get right. There was something about her I couldn't quite tap into. But, if you will pardon the pun, after scribbling for a little bit, I seem to have finally found her groove. So before I pass out, here is the music box diva, and the tin man band...

Anatomy

Looking at the animals that I'm basing my work on

How I love pencils

Thought the kitty kaiju was looking a bit off, so I sketched from some pictures of big cats and redrew his face. Liking it so far. Sometimes starting in photoshop I get a little lost, so I took it to pencils. 

Lights.

Started working on the lights, but might resketch the beast. Talking to a friend about making him less cute.

Here is to the brain babies we make with friends...

So I questioned a friend, as I sometimes do:

"What should I draw?"

His answer was a dog in a mech fighting cat demons.
So I present the beginning of that venture

KITTY KAIJU

More Later, gotta go to work.

one last bit before I go...

Good morning golem

Doodles are all over the place today. 

11am. Time for work. 

Evening...

character designs, golem girl

So in the hours before I head off to work, trying to get some drawing in.

let's make a monster.

So the first character that gets serious attention is the golem. I picked my favorite silhouette and went from there. Still needs plenty of work, but it's a start.

SpitPaint: Golden Golem

I like the idea of this one, but did quite get the angles I wanted in the 30 min that I was trying to scribble the idea...

SpitPaint: Pangolin

another 30 minutes, boy and pangolin. The pangolin is one of the odd sort of creatures that appeal to me. Hope to get much better at this whole 30 minute thing haha.

SpitPaint

So recently I joined a Facebook community called spit paint with a friend. The premise is they give you a set of topics, you pick one, give yourself 30 min and go.

Lol 30 min is shorter than you think... This is a little longer than the 30, but I really like where it was going. the topic was gown of feathers. Might not be putting this one on the Facebook page, but might as well put it here.

Continuing on

All I can say is real friends will look at the work you're doing and scribble all over it to tell you how it could be better. taking a few notes from people I admire.
Cesar Tofoya
David Michael Friend
9:30 a.m.

12:30 (after lunch break....)

2:06 p.m. When the cloud exploded

5:35 p.m. getting there...

returning to the red tide

Fiddling around with saturation and depth. Colors aren't quite there yet, but almost.

Imps

Happy New Year

I christen this the year of gettin' out of dodge.